Joe Canzano Says Hello

 I like a good book more than I like most people.



FREE Ebook - Suzy Spitfire Kills Everybody


Hello, everybody. I haven't been here lately, and I hope you're all doing okay. As someone once said, "Life is what happens while you're making other plans." As someone else once said, "I guess I could've planned that a little better, but it will have to do."


So what have I been doing? I wrote a new book - and for a limited time, you can get the ebook version for FREE by subscribing to my newsletter HERE.  


Here's the story:


When Suzy Spitfire discovers her father was murdered after creating a super-duper artificial intelligence, she races across the solar system in search of the brain he built—but it’s a rough ride, and she’s soon forced to tangle with pirates, predators, and her father’s killer—as well as a man she thinks she can love.


Suzy Spitfire Kills Everybody is a smash-bang sci-fi adventure filled with action, intrigue, and a dose of dark humor. 


*This book contains profanity and some adult situations.


After you subscribe, you'll receive a thank you email. Reply to that email and let me know what format you'd like - a .mobi (works with Kindle) or an .epub (works with everything else). 


Thanks for your interest.




The Beast is Free and Sex is Cheap


I haven't been on Booklikes in a while. I see it's still a great place. I'll have to come back more often.


Magno Girl and the Beast of Brooklyn is now FREE on Amazon. This 60 page E-book is a prequel to the novel Magno Girl (even though it was written after the novel). You can get it free on Amazon right here.


If you want to see where else this book is free, visit this page.


Meanwhile, the novel Sex Hell is currently just 99 cents on Amazon! You can get that right here.


If you'd prefer to get it somewhere other than Amazon, visit this page.


If you'd like to be hear the latest news from Happy Joe Control (including offers like these), please subscribe to the Happy Joe Newsletter. 

Win A Copy of Sex Hell!

From the author of "Magno Girl" (that's me) comes a ludicrous quest for love.
You can enter to win a copy of it right here:
Here's the story:

When Debbie de La Fontaine tries to spice up her love life by supernaturally tampering with her sex life, she is cursed to spend every future encounter in a magical place called “Sex Hell,” where the sex is ludicrous and amazing but the romance is scarce.

Her only chance for escape is through the stingy clues supplied by an obnoxious demon, and the only way to obtain the clues is by returning to Sex Hell again and again to have outrageous sexcapades with the man she most wants to avoid—or does she?

Sex Hell is an absurd comic fantasy about the confusion of relationships. How is love related to sex, and how is sex related to love—and do love and sex need to be related at all?

*This book contains profanity and adult situations*

For information about similar giveaways, please visit the Happy Joe Newsletter at


The Princess Bride


This book is hilarious. The premise is that it’s an abridged version of a book written by “S. Morgenstern,” but in reality, it’s all a big joke. Morgenstern never existed, and the book was actually written by William Goldman.


All in all, “The Princess Bride” is a satirical tale about a way-too-beautiful yet not overly brainy young girl named Buttercup who is forced (sort of) to marry the evil Prince Humperdink. The characters are outrageous representations of the various clichés: the world’s greatest swordsman, the dashing young hero, the evil count, etc. The dialogue is witty, funny, and insightful. Very sharp stuff. Goldman is pretty damn brilliant at times.


The plot breaks down a bit near the end. It almost seemed like Goldman didn't want to be bothered coming up with a more clever scenario - or maybe he just didn't think it was necessary for a story that is meant to be ridiculous. But I thought the rest of the book made up for it.


I’ve never seen the movie. Maybe I will.

Starship Troopers


There’s a movie supposedly based on this book. The movie has the same title, but that’s where the similarities end.


The movie is an action adventure story about a bunch of very photogenic co-ed soldiers who land on a rocky world filled with giant bugs. They proceed to get regularly surrounded while trying to battle these creatures with archaic weapons and idiotic tactics that would have made General George Custer proud. The movie is asinine, but I still liked it because it had action, sex, and romance, and sometimes that’s all that’s necessary. Actually, most times. But I’m here to talk about the book.


The book is largely about philosophy and politics. It’s a narrative given by a rich kid named Johnny Rico who volunteers for the Mobile Infantry. The story focuses on the meaning this has for him, and the significance of soldiering in society, and the way this significance filters down to society’s smallest elements while acting as one of its key foundations.


There’s not much action and only a few real characters. Author Robert Heinlein has a lot to say, and he often uses Johnny’s training instructors as his mouthpiece. I don’t mean in a symbolic sense, but in a “soapbox” sense. They lecture Johnny (and the reader) quite a bit.


I’m not even sure why I liked this book, but I did. Maybe it was all the depth and thoughtfulness. I felt like I was immersed in a quality piece of writing.



Have you been to Luscioustopia yet? If you're interested in discovering new books, this is a great place to start. They review books in a variety of categories. They allow you to leave comments, too. 


They were nice enough to review "Magno Girl and the Beast of Brooklyn" right here. And guess what? You can still get this novella for FREE by subscribing to my newsletter here.


Big thanks to the people at Luscioutopia. Check out this site today!




The Princess And The Fool


I loved this book. It's filled with typical stuff you'll find in a dark fairy tale, like castles and witches and death and violence - but it still has some light moments where it doesn't take itself too seriously. The structure took me a little time to get used to, but once that was accomplished I could not put this story down.


Excellent plot and character development. This author knows his stuff. I can't give this novel enough stars. Highly recommended. 



Our cruise ship vacation is almost over. I was afraid I hadn’t brought enough books with me, but as it turns out, I spent too much time eating to read most of them.


But I did read “Neuromancer.” Actually, I read most of it twice, just to clear away all the WTF moments from the first time.


This was the first book to ever win the “triple crown” of sci-fi book awards (Hugo, Nebula, and Philip K. Dick) in the same year. The author, William Gibson, coined the term “cyberspace,” and more or less defined “the matrix,” and it’s pretty wild to imagine he wrote this book before the internet was a normal part of everyday life.


So, what’s this novel like? Gibson’s style is to toss the reader into a jargon-filled, electric sci-fi fish tank without a whole lot of background information. And you might just drown (I almost did). But if you keep reading, it starts to make sense.


The story revolves around a burned out “console cowboy” computer hacker who meets a few mysterious people who make him an offer he can’t refuse. Of course, there is a price—and a lot of lurking danger as he begins to uncover who these people really are and what they really want. And they might not even be people at all.


This is the not the easiest read on the shelf, but I highly recommend it.





Fahrenheit 451


I'm on vacation this week, One of the things I decided to do is read a bunch of books. It's either that or fix things around the house. Luckily, my Kindle charger is working just fine.


This is another classic story I just got around to reading. It’s also the first Ray Bradbury book I’ve ever read.


This is a dystopian novel about a future version of the United States where firemen don’t put out fires, they start them – specifically in houses were books have been discovered.


The prose is intense and I loved reading it. Bradbury’s words will hit you like a hammer. There’s no wasted space. It’s one blow after the next, and then it ends.


The book is short, and while the ending was strong and appropriate, it still felt like the story could have continued for quite a bit longer – or maybe I just wanted it to.


On a deeper level, this book is about a world where ideas and discussions of any real substance have been deemed dangerous to tranquility and happiness. People live hollow lives that revolve around superficial television shows.


In some ways, it sounds very familiar.

No Date For Gomez


This is the follow-up book to Graham Parke’s absurd novel, “No Hope For Gomez.”


The book has three sections (all of them short). Part 1 and Part 2 take place before “No Hope for Gomez,” while part 3 takes place after that book. Does this sound unusual? It’s not any more unusual than the books themselves.


A lot of the humor in this book comes from Gomez incorrectly interpreting everything around him. Sometimes this ongoing joke gets infuriating—at times I wanted to reach into my Kindle and smack some sense into the guy. But most of the time it’s just funny, and there’s other humor going on as well that makes this more than a one trick kind of carnival. There’s a lot of subtle commentary that’s quite well done. The dialogue is also very good.


The Part 2 section narrated by Gomez’s love interest, Gretchen, (who has the exact same voice as Gomez), is really funny. I was laughing during her job interview scenes.


I do find the lack of sexuality in both books to be odd. For a guy who is obsessed with every detail of “boy meets girl,” this seems like a big detail to leave out. I’m not looking for a blow-by-blow account (no pun intended—or only slightly intended) of every sexcapade - I just want to know, ARE THEY DOING IT OR NOT? It’s never clear. In the first book, it’s somewhat implied, but again, it’s a bit of a puzzle.


NOTE: Talk about Gretchen’s “freakishly large boobies” does not answer my question.


The ending in this book was even more odd that the rest of it. There’s a point where absurdity can be too absurd. Looking back on it, this whole book was pretty messed up – but the bottom line is that I definitely enjoyed reading it, and I plan to read the next Gomez book, too. It’s got a certain kind of craziness I can’t keep away from.

The Sound Of Things Falling


This is the third novel by Colombian author Juan Gabriel Vasquez. I read the translation from Spanish, written by award-winning translator Anne McLean.


This is a beautifully written (or at least beautifully translated) novel about a young male law professor who is accidentally shot after befriending a mysterious ex-convict in a Bogota pool hall. Throughout the length of his recovery, the specter of the Colombian drug trade looms large – the violence it causes and the lives it destroys.


While I respect the writing in this story, I found it to be a bit melancholy for my taste.  Also, I didn’t really care for the main character. He casually mentions how he sleeps with his female students in exchange for raising their grades, and then proceeds to get one of them pregnant. At times, he seems to care about this woman and their child, but ultimately treats them both with great inconsideration.  Maybe I missed the non-incriminating epiphany that causes him to do this – or maybe the guy is just an ass pipe.  Luckily, there are other characters in the story who are more likable and interesting.


Despite these issues the book held my interest.

No Hope For Gomez


This is a book about an eccentric fellow who inherits an antique store with a scarce supply of customers. To supplement his income, he begins participating in a pharmaceutical trial, but he has no idea what the drug he’s taking is supposed to do. He proceeds to fall in love with the woman who is recording the results. He then learns that someone else in the drug trial has died and becomes suspicious of foul play, prompting him to begin investigating like the incompetent sleuth that he is.


The story is told through a series of blog entries, and it is absurd. Most of the time the absurdity works pretty well. The narrator, Gomez, has a unique voice that is often hilarious. I thought the ending was a bit anti-climactic, but it wasn’t a deal breaker. I’m looking forward to reading the sequel, “No Date for Gomez.”    


I definitely recommend this book to anyone who enjoys ridiculous humor.

Lord Of The Flies


For some reason, I did not read this book in High School like most other people. I finally got tired of hearing about it and got myself a copy.


This novel is about a bunch of young boys on an island. There’s an awful lot of text devoted to describing this island, but in the end it’s a jungle, it’s hot, and it’s surrounded by water. It’s been said this is a great book because it “reveals a lot about human nature,” and I’ll admit this book manages to accomplish this in a powerful way.


But I must wonder, why is it always the bad side of human nature that gets so much literary respect?  Ask any critic to name Shakespeare’s greatest works, and most of the time the first three plays named will be tragedies. In reality, the comedies are just as good. They reveal just as much about people – and they are just as well written. In fact, I think many would agree that they are far more clever. I think it’s kind of a tragedy that tragedies always get more respect.


Anyway, I can’t say I loved “Lord of the Flies,” but I did like it, and I’m glad I’m finally done with it.

This was FUN!

Reblogged from Jessica's Book Thoughts:
Magno Girl - Joe Canzano




When a Manhattan pizza maker is found dead in his own dough, Magno Girl enlists the aid of her biker ninja boyfriend to help solve the crime – and quickly discovers there’s more to the pie than meets the eye, including a sinister plot that spans the globe.

Magno Girl leaps into action. After all, she can fly, she can fight, and she can use her fearsome superpower, the “Gaze of the Guilt,” to bring a hardened criminal to his knees. But the road ahead is hard. The city’s other superheroes despise her, and the cops don’t want her around, and her own mom won’t stop spitting out advice about marrying a “respectable guy” and trading in her crime-fighting career for a baby carriage—but is she attracted to “respectable guys”? And is she interested in emotional commitment? And will finding real love be her biggest challenge of all?

Welcome to the world of Magno Girl, a wild and absurd place filled with humor, action, and romance.

NOTE: This book contains some profanity and adult situations.  


My thoughts:

This was awesome. It reminds me of a comic book without the graphics. It is funny, full of corny action scenes, comic book like humor, and sweet innocent love. This is not the type of book you take seriously, it is meant to be fun and fantastic. There is no great knowledge to be gained, but there is a lighthearted, fun story containing some of the most unique characters I have ever come across.


Magno Girl and Ron team up again in this story. Ron is just plain silly at times in this one tryin to pull off the "I am so manly routine," it is hilarious to read about some of his thoughts. He likes what he likes and he likes Magno Girl, a lot. In this story Magno opens up more than she did in the first story and her character really unfolds. Both characters are very fun and the way they interact and compliment each is great.


The action scenes remind me of scenes from old batman shows. I laughed out loud during a scene where Magno encounters her kryptonite, tobacco smoke. A midget tries to defeat her by smoking a cigar. Her and Ron work together and put the tiny midget in his place before he can cause a lot of damage.


This author is amazing at getting your attention and keeping it. The story is action filled and stays at a steady pace though out the entire book. I will definitely be reading anything this author writes.


I recommend this to anyone looking for a book to read to have a fun time. If you like superheroes or comics, you will most likely enjoy this book. This is meant for an adult audience.

Magno Girl and the Beast of Brooklyn

Reblogged from Jessica's Book Thoughts:
Magno Girl and the Beast of Brooklyn - Joe Canzano

Magno Girl, a girl superhero on the tail of a couple of robbers who broke into Fu Chong's Chinese restaurant to steal only a the big bags of rice from the storeroom. At the scene of the crime, she meets


This story is told to us by Ron. Ron is working temporarily as a bouncer at The Crush Club nearby. He is training to be a ninja, and rides a Harley. Ron witnesses a crime. A couple of guys broke into Fu Chong's Chinese restaurant and stole only a bag of rice. Magno Girl, a girl super hero, shows up on scene to help out in any way she can. Ron likes her. He likes her A LOT.


Magno girl, her real name is Magnolia, she owns a martial arts studio. She quit riding motorcycles when she learned to fly.


Magno and Ron set out together to try and solve the crime. Through out the book, Ron is crushing on Magno so hard. I love the way she handles his advances. This story reminds me of a comic book without pictures. I imagine Ron and Magno running around all over the pages and acting out the story as they tell it to me. I love this!


I love both Ron, and Magno. With almost every sentence, the author tells us more about them.


READ THIS! Go sign up for the author's newsletter. After signing up, you receive an email with a free copy of this book attached.


FREE STORY: Ground and Pound




















Two of the world’s best fighters are two of the world’s best friends – until the day they decide to fight for a world championship, and the spirit of a sexy dead ex shows up to change the game.


Ground and Pound is a rip-roaring short story (about 15 pages) about love and sex and the UFC - and you can get it for FREE!



Ground and Pound is currently FREE at the links below:
Apple itunes


Amazon won’t allow it to be free, so it’s 99 cents right here. If you only buy ebooks from Amazon and you subscribe to the Happy Joe Newsletter, send me an email that says, “Hey, I’d like a mobi version of Ground and Pound” and I’ll send it to you.


I’m doing another BLOG Tour for Magno Girl. The entire schedule is here. Stop by and leave a comment on one of the blogs. Also, buy the book – it’s only 99 cents until the end of September. Here’s a list of where you can get it.